27+ Ways to Respond to Family or Friends Asking About Your Income

Money can be a sensitive and personal topic, yet it’s not uncommon for family and friends to ask about your income.

Whether it’s out of genuine curiosity, concern or even envy, being asked about your finances can be uncomfortable and even intrusive at times.

As much as we may want to avoid these conversations, they can be difficult to dodge, especially with those closest to us.

Fortunately, there are ways to navigate these conversations with grace and poise.

In this article, we’ll explore some effective ways to respond to family and friends asking about your income while maintaining your boundaries and preserving your relationships.

How to Handle Prying Questions About Income

When someone asks about your income, it can be tempting to respond with defensiveness or even anger.

However, it’s important to remain calm and composed when handling these types of questions.

Here are some steps you can take to handle these questions gracefully:

Set Boundaries

If someone asks about your income and you’re not comfortable sharing that information, it’s perfectly okay to politely decline.

You might say something like, “I prefer not to discuss my finances, but thank you for your interest.” This sets a clear boundary without causing offense.

Redirect the Conversation

Another way to handle these questions is to redirect the conversation after politely declining to share info. As a follow up, you might say, “I’m happy to talk about other things. How have you been?”

This shifts the focus away from your income and onto something else.

Stay Calm

If someone persists in asking about your income despite your attempts to set boundaries or redirect the conversation, it’s important to stay calm.

Getting angry or defensive will only escalate the situation and potentially damage your relationship.

Take a deep breath, stay calm, and repeat your boundary in a firm but polite manner.

Choose Your Words Carefully

When responding to questions about your income, choose your words carefully.

Avoid making sweeping generalizations or judgments about money, as this can come across as defensive or offensive. Instead, keep your responses brief, clear, and respectful.

Remember, how you respond to questions about your income can set the tone for your relationship with that person going forward. By remaining calm, setting boundaries, and choosing your words carefully, you can navigate these conversations with grace and preserve your relationships.

Example Responses to Questions About Income

Below we discuss example responses to inquiries about your income.

Example #1 – Someone Asks About Your Income

If someone asks about your income and you feel uncomfortable sharing that information, here are some responses you can use:

“I prefer not to disclose my income. Let’s talk about something else.”
“I’m not comfortable sharing that information. Can we change the subject?”
“I’m sorry, but my income is personal and private. Let’s talk about something else.”

Remember, it’s okay to set boundaries and assert your right to privacy. You don’t owe anyone an explanation or justification for your financial situation. If someone continues to push for an answer, it’s okay to politely but firmly decline to share that information.

Example #2 – Someone Keeps Pressing About Your Income

While it’s understandable to feel frustrated and angry when someone insists on asking about your income, responding with aggression or profanity can potentially damage your relationship with that person. Instead, consider the following ways to respond:

Politely Decline: Simply say, “I’m sorry, but I’d rather not discuss my income.” This sets a clear boundary without causing offense.
Redirect the Conversation: Shift the focus away from your income by changing the subject. You might say, “Let’s talk about something else. How was your weekend?”
Deflect the Question: Respond to the question with a question of your own, such as “Why do you ask?” or “What makes you curious about that?” (Only do this if you’re genuinely interested in continuing the conversation on this subject.)
Be Honest: If you feel comfortable, you can explain that your income is personal and private, and you prefer not to share that information.

It’s important to remember that how you respond to these types of questions can set the tone for your relationship with that person going forward. By responding with respect and dignity, even when feeling frustrated or annoyed, you can help maintain a positive relationship with the person.

Example #3 – Someone Concerned About Your Financial Situation

Dear [Name],

I hope this message finds you well. I wanted to touch base with you regarding a conversation we had earlier. I understand that you are concerned about my financial situation and my ability to support myself. While I appreciate your care and concern for me, I want to reassure you that I am fully capable of making a good income.

However, I also want to emphasize that my financial matters are private and personal. As such, I will not be sharing any specific details about my income or financial situation with you. I hope you can respect my decision to keep this information confidential.

Please know that I value our relationship and appreciate your love and support. I am doing everything I can to ensure my financial stability and independence, and I am confident in my ability to do so.

Thank you for understanding.

Sincerely, [Your Name]

Example #4 – Someone Concerned About Your Spouse’s Financial Situation

It’s important to approach this situation with respect and empathy, even if you’re feeling frustrated or upset.

Here are some possible responses you could use (switch pronouns and identities where appropriate):

“Mom, I understand that you may have some concerns, but I want you to know that my wife is capable and successful in her career. Her income is not something that you need to worry about.”
“I appreciate your concern, but my wife and I have our own financial situation under control. We don’t need your input on this matter.”
“I understand that you may have different beliefs about gender roles and income, but I want you to know that my wife is successful and happy in her career. Let’s focus on supporting each other instead of criticizing.”

Remember, it’s important to set boundaries and assert your position without resorting to insults or name-calling. Try to have a calm and respectful conversation with your mother, and emphasize that your wife’s income and career are not up for debate.

Example #5 – Someone Asks About Your Net Worth

If someone asks about your net worth and you don’t feel comfortable sharing that information with them, you can respond politely but firmly. Here are a few possible responses:

“I’m sorry, but I prefer not to discuss my finances with anyone outside of my financial advisor or accountant.”
“My net worth is a private matter, and I’m not comfortable sharing that information.”
“I appreciate your interest, but my finances are personal and not something I feel comfortable discussing.”

Remember that you have the right to keep your financial information private. If the person continues to push, you can politely but firmly redirect the conversation or excuse yourself from the conversation altogether.

Example #6 – When Someone Inappropriately Accuses You of Being Broke or Not Having Money

If someone inappropriately accuses you of being broke or not having money, here are a few responses you could say:

“I’m sorry, but that’s not an appropriate or respectful thing to say. My financial situation is private and should not be the subject of discussion.”
“I’m not sure why my financial status is of concern to you, but I can assure you that I am managing my finances responsibly and effectively.”
“I find it inappropriate that you feel the need to comment on my financial situation. Let’s focus on the topic at hand, rather than my personal finances.”
“My financial status is not up for discussion, and I don’t appreciate being judged based on how much money I have. Let’s move on to a more productive conversation.”

Example #7 – When Someone Inappropriately Accuses Your Spouse of Being Broke or Not Having Money

If someone inappropriately accuses your wife of being broke or not having money, here are some examples of what you can say back:

“I’m not sure where you’re getting that information from, but my wife is financially stable, is happy and successful in her career, and has never been in a situation where she couldn’t support herself.”
“I’m not sure why you feel the need to comment on my wife’s financial situation. Regardless, her finances are her own business and it’s not appropriate to speculate or make assumptions about them.”
“I’m not sure what your intention is by making comments like that, but it’s not helpful or necessary. Please refrain from making baseless accusations about my wife’s financial status.”
“It’s not appropriate to make comments like that about anyone’s finances, including my wife’s. Let’s focus on more positive and respectful topics of conversation.”
“My wife’s financial situation is none of your concern. Please don’t make any more inappropriate or rude comments.”

Example #8 – When Someone Asks You for Money

When someone asks you for money, it’s important to handle the situation with care and sensitivity.

Here are some possible responses you can consider:

Set boundaries: You can politely say that you are not able to give them money at the moment, and explain that you have your own financial commitments to take care of.
Offer alternatives: Instead of giving money, you can offer to help in other ways, such as providing them with resources or connecting them with organizations that offer financial assistance.
Be empathetic: You can acknowledge their situation and express empathy for their struggles. Sometimes, a listening ear and kind words can make a big difference.
Be firm: If you don’t feel comfortable giving them money or offering other assistance, you can politely but firmly decline their request.

Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide how you want to respond. It’s important to be compassionate and respectful, but also to prioritize your own well-being and financial stability.

Example #9 – When Someone Inappropriately Accuses of Being Greedy for Not Giving Them Money

If someone accuses you of being greedy for not sharing your money with them, it’s important to communicate clearly and calmly with them.

Here are some possible responses you can consider:

“I understand that you may need financial support, but it’s not fair to accuse me of being greedy for not sharing my money with you. I have my own financial obligations and priorities to take care of.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way. However, it’s not my responsibility to provide for your financial needs. It’s important for everyone to work hard and earn their own money.”
“I believe in being fair and generous, but I also believe in being responsible with my finances. I have my own plans and goals for my money and I can’t compromise on them.”
“I understand that you may be in a tough situation right now, but I don’t think it’s fair to put the burden of solving your financial problems on me.”
“I’m happy to help you in other ways if I can, but I don’t feel comfortable giving away my money just because you’re asking for it.”
“I work hard for my money, and I believe I have the right to decide how to use it. I don’t think that makes me greedy.”

Remember, it’s important to stay calm and respectful when responding to accusations of greed. It’s also important to remember that you are not obligated to share your money with anyone, but you can always offer help in other ways that don’t involve financial support.

What Do I Do If Someone Gets Emotional and Out of Line?

When someone is asking about your income or financial situation and you feel that it is inappropriate or out of line, it is important to handle the situation in a respectful and assertive manner. Here are some tips:

Stay calm: Emotions can run high in such situations, but it is important to remain calm and composed. Take a deep breath, gather your thoughts and respond calmly.
Express your discomfort: Let the person know that you feel uncomfortable discussing your financial situation. You can say something like, “I understand your curiosity, but I’m not comfortable discussing my finances.”
Be assertive: If the person persists in asking about your finances, be firm and assertive in your response. Let them know that it is not something you wish to discuss and that you would appreciate it if they respected your boundaries.
Offer an alternative: If the person seems genuinely concerned about your well-being, offer an alternative way to address their concern. For example, you could suggest discussing financial planning or budgeting in general terms, without getting into specifics about your own finances.
End the conversation: If the person continues to press the issue, it may be necessary to end the conversation altogether. You can politely excuse yourself and change the subject to something else.

Remember, it is your right to set boundaries and protect your privacy. Be respectful, but don’t be afraid to assert yourself if someone is crossing a line.